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Most of us consider thinking a good thing, something we do to solve problems or recollect fond memories. But sometimes, our thinking can be counterproductive. You know the times…something goes wrong and you think “this is all my fault” or “I should have seen this coming.” In a little while that voice in your head has you convinced you’re a total failure. Welcome to stinking thinking.
What is Stinking Thinking?
The phrase “stinking thinking,” or cognitive distortions, is used to describe any thinking that makes you believe you will fail, that bad things will happen, or that somehow you are not a good person. You’re more vulnerable to it when you’re under some stress, and if not controlled stinking thinking can turn into a spiral of negativity.
The good news is, if we can recognize them, we can fight back and replace the negative thoughts with more accurate positive ones. Here are some of the most common kinds of stinking thinking.
Overgeneralization is when you take a single event and draw big conclusions from it, so that making one mistake in keeping the books becomes “I will never be able to keep the books. I’ll always be hopeless at it.”
Mental filters happen when you only pay attention to the negative and discount the positive. You may be a great parent, but all you can think about is the time you had to miss your daughter’s dance recital because of harvest…or you may discount your positive accomplishments, thinking “that was just luck.”
Catastrophizing occurs when you assume the worst possible outcome to a situation. A common one I hear is “If I admit, even once, that I’m tired and stressed then everyone will see me as weak and I’ll be a laughingstock and not able to hold my head up in my community.”
What Can You Do to Fight Stinking Thinking?
First and foremost, when you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed, stop for a moment to see if you’re doing stinking thinking. Ask “what are my thoughts as I’m feeling overwhelmed?” and then ask yourself:
- Am I basing my thoughts in facts or emotions?
- What evidence do I have for this thought–is there really enough evidence to justify this?
- How can I reframe my negative thought into a positive one? (e.g. maybe I’m not a failure, maybe I’m creative for trying something new.)
- How truly likely is it that the thing I’m worried about will actually happen?
If you’re not sure if your thinking is on target or distorted, check in with someone you trust. Together you can sort out fact from emotion, get rid of those stinking distortions, tame your stressful thoughts, and thrive!
To learn more, you can go to https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-top-10-types-of-stinkin-thinkin
