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Long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I was a graduate student. One of the most important things I had to do was put together my committee—the group of faculty members who would teach, mentor, and guide me through the process of becoming a PhD and part of the university.
It was kind of an intimidating task. These would be very important people in my life for the next 4-5 years. When things went wrong in my research, or I hit roadblocks, or I just felt like giving up, they were the ones who were supposed to help me get back on track.
A colleague of mine gave me some very wise advice. She said I should find 4 people: someone to give me information support, who knew my content area; someone who could support me as I learned the tasks and methods of research; someone who was organized and connected and could lead me through the maze of the university and help me feel I belonged; and someone who was kind, who would give me emotional support.
As I think back on it, I realize this is great advice for life in general. We all need these four kinds of people in our lives, who can provide these four kinds of support—information/knowledge, help with tasks, help belonging to a larger group, and emotional support.
On the farm, you might have a situation where white mold is attacking your peanuts. Then you may need to consult an Extension Specialist about when to spray fungicide, you may need someone to help you with the application, you may want to connect with other peanut farmers to find out what they are seeing in their fields, and you may need to vent to a friend about your worry about what this will do to your yield.
We can have situations at home that need these supports too. Maybe we find out we have a parent who is sick. We need information about the sickness and treatment, help taking care of our sick parent, connecting with other people who have been through having a sick parent so we don’t feel alone, and a friend to be sad with as we think about a parent’s mortality.
Who are your people for each of these kinds of support? Who could you add to your committee?
Knowledge, tasks, belonging, emotional support—they are all important if we are going to thrive.