Beyond the Casserole Stage

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about losses.

When I lost my parents, people were so kind and attentive. There were cards and calls and flowers and casseroles…sooo many casseroles.

After a few weeks the outreach faded and it got very quiet. People went back to their regular lives, and the casseroles stopped. That was maybe the hardest time, feeling alone in grief and still having mountains of things to do. I had appreciated the cards and food, and I understood that everyone had their own life to take care of, but it was still pretty lonely.

Don’t get me wrong, help during those early days is very important and valuable. Casseroles are wonderful. It’s just hard when it ends. So, I promised myself —if I had friends going through loss I would hang in there with them for the long run, beyond the casserole stage.

After Hurricane Helene (and for our friends and family in Florida, Hurricane Milton as well) there are so many people who are hurting, physically, emotionally, economically. Right now, the world is focusing its attention on the hurricanes’ damage and the needs of the survivors. It is wonderful and brave and generous of people to help as they can—and so many are doing this. Thanks and gratitude to everyone who is contributing time, efforts, funds, prayers, and love to those impacted by the hurricanes. But I worry about when the casserole stage will end.

We all need to remember that the losses and impacts from Hurricane Helene are huge, and will be felt for many years, for generations. So, I’m inviting you to join me in pledging to remember and provide support to affected communities over the long haul, not just during the casserole stage. Also, let’s pledge to provide support not only by helping to clean up, or helping people complete FSA disaster loan funds—let’s also pledge to check in on people’s mental and emotional well-being.

Grief and loss are powerful feelings after a disaster, and the feelings go through stages.  Everyone’s journey is different, usually including some forms of shock and numbness, feeling overwhelmed, anger, depression, anxiety. Everyone also has strengths and resilience they draw from, and support from friends helps people more easily find and tap into strengths. When we provide support (physical, financial, or emotional), we help hurricane survivors become more resilient, more hopeful, more able to move forward into the future.

Let’s all commit to helping the farm families devastated by Hurricane Helene. Let’s help them now, and let’s keep supporting them—their physical, financial, and mental well-being—in the years ahead. Let’s all commit to being there beyond the casserole stage.

 Who’s with me?